


I'll be here for you, even when you don't want me to.

by justmarcialima



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Bucky has self confidence issues about his arm, F/M, Hydra also kidnapped you, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, You live in the Avengers Tower, Your father is Coulson in this, it's not a romantic triangle, you have powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:24:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmarcialima/pseuds/justmarcialima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is going through a rough path with his nightmares. You try to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be here for you, even when you don't want me to.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a bigger fanfic that I'll never post, but I find this part very cute.

It was 3 AM in the morning and the woman was just starting to change for bed. She got caught up talking with her dad on Skype and telling him about everything at the tower. She talked to him when he could, but she missed him deeply in person. When she closed her notebook and looked at the hour, she immediately changed clothes putting on a Captain America shirt of her father but decided to skip the shorts and just wear her cotton undies. The girl decided to go get some water, but when she was making the trip back to her bedroom from the kitchen she passed Bucky’s room and heard some moaning. But it was pained moans, like he was being tortured or something, so she didn’t thought twice before entering his room and saw him thrashing on his bed sweating in only his white boxers. The agent immediately jumped and straddled him, binding his arms above his head so he couldn’t hurt her or him. It wasn’t easy because he was so strong, but she was too. 

\- Bucky, wake up! You’re having a nightmare! Wake up! – She shook him and he mumbled something in Russian, trying to get her off him, but she wouldn’t bulge. – WAKE UP SOLDIER! – She said in a commanding voice and he snapped his eyes open. His blue orbs looked a little desfocated for a while but soon he looked like himself again and she released his arm, but stayed straddling him, just in case. 

\- How did you get in here? – His voice was hoarse and husky from screaming. 

\- From the door. – She rolled her eyes. 

\- Yeah, but how did you know? 

\- I was awake and passed through your bedroom door and heard you. – She signed. – What you nightmare was about? – He only shook his head, tears unshed in his eyes. – I have them too sometimes you know. 

\- Really? – He asked. 

\- Yeah, it helps if I have somebody with me. – She smiled. – You want me to stay the night here, Bucky?

\- You would? – He asked like a little kid, fright in his eyes. 

\- Of course. – The redhead got off him and moved to his side, making him spoon her from behind. 

\- That’s not uncomfortable, right? – He asked worried. 

\- It’s scandalizing for your time, but no. Like I said before, you’re comfortable. – She smiled in the dark. 

\- Oh doll, that’s not even half the scandalization that I did in my time. – She could hear the smug smirk in his voice. 

\- Thought you were a prude like Steve. – She laughed at the undignified sound that he made. 

\- I got laid, thank you very much. – He huffed in her hair. – I’m used to be a charmer. 

\- Still are, Bucky. Still are. – She said, snuggling closer to him. 

\- Thanks. – He sounded sleepy. 

\- Sleep Bucky. When you wake up, I’ll be right here still. 

With that, both of them traveled off to the dream land without nightmares. 

 

The sun was already shining when the woman woke up. She was feeling warm and content, being still held by Bucky. This time she was with her head on his naked chest and he had one hand on her waist and the other petting her head, making her realize he was awake. 

\- Good morning. – She said, her voice very croaked from sleep and he laughed lightly. 

\- Morning, doll. – Bucky responded, kissing the crown of her head lightly. – You stayed. – He completed with awe in his voice. 

\- Of course I did. I promised. – She kissed his chest lightly. 

\- Thank you for staying. – He said, his voice sounding a bit emotional. 

\- Don’t worry about it. – She smiled. – Anytime you need you can reach out for me, Bucky. 

\- I’ll have that in mind. – He said. 

\- We should get up, huh? – She huffed in annoyance and snuggled closer to him. 

\- Yeah, it’s past 10 AM. – Bucky stated but didn’t moved an inch from her. 

\- The guys should be wondering why we didn’t woke up yet. I’m sure Tony, Thor or Natasha already came to my room. 

\- They gonna thought that we slept together. 

\- We did. 

\- Not in the way they’re going to think, though. – He chuckled. 

The redhead only shrugged and got off bed, using his bathroom quickly and washing her mouth with Listerine. When she got out of there, she saw Bucky’s bed already made and he wearing grey sweat pants but his chest was still naked. She stared at his torso, seeing the scar where his flesh met metal. He blushed and tried to cover it up, but she took his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes. 

\- It’s part of you, so it’s beautiful. – She smiled and kissed his bruised flesh lightly. When she raised her head, Bucky had his eyes closed and a silent tear escaped his eye. The brave woman kissed it away and he hugged her tightly for a few minutes. Then they separated and looked at each other smiling. 

\- I feel like I just spooned both you and Steve at the same time. – He said, looking at her shirt. She laughed hard. 

\- And how does it feel? – She asked, a playful look on her eyes. 

\- Good. Which makes me slightly worried. – He let a bright smile shine.

\- Don’t worry. I don’t think you’ll be having desires to spoon Steve in real life. 

Bucky smiled.

\- Let’s go face our awful friends. – He said and she laughed. 

 

That night she went to a party with Tony, serving as his date. Both were amazing friends so they naturally got drunk together and ended up tripping their way to the Avengers Tower making lots of noise and waking Steve up, who wasn't happy with their drunkness. He made Tony go to his bedroom and stayed behind to talk with her, surprising both when he gave her a chaste kiss. The kiss sobered her up enough for her to ask why he was kissing her. He just told her he wanted to and told her to go to her room. 

The smile she had on her face disappeared when she entered her bedroom and saw Bucky there, he was sleeping splayed in her bed and cold sweating in the middle of a bad dream. She instantly felt guilty about being out for so long and walked to her bed to wake him. 

\- Bucky. – She poked him and he opened his eyes. Apparently his nightmare this time wasn’t that bad because he came to his surroundings pretty quickly. 

\- What time is it? – He sat on the bed and rubbed the sweat of his face. 

\- Just five post 4 am. – Said looking at the clock on her bedside. – Just give me a minute to change and I’ll talk to you ok? – He only nodded and hugged his knees. She went to the bathroom and in 30 minutes she was back. Her face washed of all makeup, her hair in a high and messy ponytail and Superman pajamas. She laid next to him and cuddled. – Wanna talk about it?

\- This one was about my fall. – He said in a quiet voice. - When I thought I was going to die but I didn’t. Sometimes when I was Hydra I wished that I could. I don’t want that anymore, though. I found a similarity of happiness here. But it still haunts me. 

\- You know you’ll always have me, Buck. – She kissed his cheek. 

\- Yeah. – He sounded shy. – I hope you don’t mind me sleeping here, I didn’t want to spent the night alone and decided to wait here. I didn’t know you were going to be so late so I probably fell asleep while waiting. 

\- You’ll always be invited to my bedroom Buck. Sorry I wasn’t here for you.

\- It’s ok. – For the sound of his voice he was smiling. – So how was the party…? 

\- Was ok. Me and Tony got super drunk though. 

\- You’re not drunk. – He stated. 

\- Steve sobered me up. 

\- Steve? – He asked confused. 

\- He kissed me. 

\- HE DID WHAT NOW? – He almost yelled in shock and she started to laugh.

\- I had the same reaction. 

\- Why did he kissed you?

\- I don’t know. He just said he wanted to. 

\- Oh well be damned. Steve is not my shy little best friend anymore. 

\- I doubt it, Bucky. I mean he is not little anymore but he is pretty shy still. 

\- I guess he’s more confident now to just kiss a girl like that for his own initiative. 

\- Yeah. – She pouted. 

\- Everything’s gonna be fine.   
\- I should be telling you this. - She smiled. - I hope so. C’mon let’s sleep. 

They both cuddled together and in some minutes were sleeping soundly without the presence of nightmares. 

 

They woke up startled in a mess of limbs, with Bucky spooning her from behind. The two of them groaned and lifted their heads to see who was yelling at them. That person was Bruce and he wasn’t yelling per see. Just talking loudly and opening the curtains wishing them a good morning fairly too excited for their liking. 

\- What do you want, Bruce? – Bucky groaned and hid his face on the redhead’s neck. 

\- What time is it? – The woman groaned too and tried to peek at her clock on her bedside table. It was 7 AM. – It’s too early, Bruce. Please let me sleep, I’ve been up all night long with Tony. 

\- I know, he’s not happy either but we have a mission. Clint and Natasha came back. 

\- I don’t give a fuck about Clint and Natasha. – Bucky glared at the doctor which backed away slightly afraid. 

\- Bucky, be nice. It’s not Bruce’s fault. – She tapped Bucky’s metal arm and he groaned annoyed again. Bruce looked very relieved and grateful for her. – We’re going in a few minutes, Bruce. Thank you for telling us. – She smiled at the cute doctor and he reciprocated. 

\- You’re welcome. – He straightened his glasses on his face and got out of her room. Both of them sighed, that was until she noticed something poking her butt. She wiggled her ass a little bit to check and bingo! Bucky whimpered a little in her ear. – Bucky, I am very flattered right now. – She smirked. 

\- Well excuse me, but it’s perfectly fine for a man my age to wake up with morning wood. – He huffed but she could sense the embarrassment in his voice. – Besides I don’t get laid in at least 70 years. 

\- Yeah that’s harsh. – She winced. – I could help you if you want any day. Just say the word. – She got up and stretched, spotting a very blushed and gaping Winter Soldier. The redhead laughed. – Its no big deal Bucky. You’re attractive. You know that. 

He was still gaping. She rolled her eyes. 

\- We need to go, we’ll finish this conversation later. 

Bucky Barnes finally got back to the world and got up the bed, sporting a quite nice and big tent in his boxers. She eyed him and when he noticed he blushed again and covered himself. 

\- Don’t worry Bucky, I’ve seen plenty of dicks in my time. 

\- I’ll go to my room to change. – He said and almost ran out of there. 

\- Oh well for one who says that is not a prude like Steve, Bucky is quite the nun. – She laughed out loud and walked to the bathroom to freshen up for the day. 

A few minutes later she was walking to the Avengers conference room, in jeans and a nice purple sweater. Everybody was there but Bucky. She hugged Natasha and Clint saying she missed them and sat besides Tony who looked pissed, hangover and in pain. He was in comfy clothes and wearing sunglasses. 

\- Rough night, Tony? – She laughed at him which flashed his middle finger at her. 

\- Damn you and your super tolerance at alcohol. 

\- Oh baby got a boo boo. – She said in a childish voice. – It was your fault anyways. You decided to get tequila shots. 

\- I'll never go out with you again. - He growled and grabbed the cup of coffee that Bucky dropped on the table. The man was wearing all black and he looked a bit flushed on his cheeks hen he looked at her. - Oh sweet Lord Jesus, thank you. – And started to gulp down the liquid. 

\- Tony, you’re an atheist. – She shook her head, laughing. 

\- Fuck you, little girl. - He scowled and she laughed out loud. 

Soon enough they were shushed by Maria Hill and the mission details. 

The next time she walked on Bucky having a nightmare was after a late night on the city with Elektra and Matt. She loved the couple so she helped them with a mission of their own. She entered the living room of the Avengers Tower completely exausted but saw Bucky laying on the couch with a copy of "Kill the Mockingbird" on his chest and a frown on his forehead. She had walked on him long enough to see he was having a nightmare. 

\- Buck. - She whispered, caressing his hair. - Wake up, sweetie. 

\- Y/N. - He croaked out in his sleep. 

\- Yes it's me, wake up. - She said. Bucky opened his beautiful blue eyes and calmed down, seeing her there. - Hello, sleepyhead. 

\- Hi. - He smiled. - Thanks for waking me. 

\- No problem. Wanna talk about it? - She asked. 

\- Not really. - He huffed, placing the book on the cofee table in front of him. - How was your night? 

\- Eventful. - She smiled, sitting next to him, making him place his head on her lap. - Matt and Ellie are a nice power couple, makes me wonder why I'm single. 

\- Because you want to. - Bucky said with conviction. - Half this tower would date you if you gave them the chance. 

\- Please. - You laughed. 

\- I'm serious. 

\- Why didn't you ever tried anything, then? 

\- I'm not good enough for you. - The way Bucky said meant he totally believed it. 

\- That's not true, you're amazing. 

\- I'm broken. You need someone brave like Steve, or powerful like Thor. Or someone as smart and kind as Bruce. Or even someone as understanding as Natasha. You don't need someone like me. I'm damaged and cracked inside, messed up in the head. Crazy and dangerous. I'm the worst possible candidate for you and...

You never left him finish his self loathing, crushing your lips against his in a brusing kiss that left both of you breathless. 

\- You're good enough and you're the only one that I want, so shut up with this nonsense and kiss me. 

Bucky smiled. 

\- Yes ma'am. 

You both stayed up kissing on the couch until morning came, Bucky didn't got the chance to have another nightmare.


End file.
